Christian Parenting 3: The bond is love
BOND, n. Anything that binds, as a cord, a chain, a rope; a band. Cause of union; cement which unites; link of connection; as the bonds of affection. (Webster's 1828 Dictionary)
- children must know that we care. This is just seeking out loving ways toward our children.
- remember to look for them "Good morning, son" "Good night, daughter." We do not forget them for other things. They are a big and important part of our lives and we have a responsibility for their welfare.
- pay attention to them and how they do
- ask for their ideas "What do your think about this?" "What shall we have for dinner"
- do unto them as you would have done to you--have understanding. They are young and just trying to grow up.
- think the best for them and of them and seek the best for them and their welfare
- introduce to them important things
- teach them important things.
- give them opportunities, give them space, provide them opportunities, let them find their interests
- manifest love and patience and care. If we teach and correct children in their young years, everybody can have rest--including the children. They can understand the light bounds of being on this earth (being under control is not hard. Not breaking all the glasses in the house and the grocery store is not bondage. That is a light boundary. Basic self-control is normal for a person. There is only anarchy, crime, misery, disruption, and dissatisfaction and danger when people do not have possession of their reason). Children can be behaved, happy, excited, exploring, helpful, learning, and growing up. If you have issues and your children are already older, just seek the Lord about who each one is--strengths and weaknesses--and then go forward with understanding and patience. Once we understand something, and what we should do about it, it is easy to go forward with a plan, notwithstanding any minor issues (we truly understand something before God, nothing is so great that it cannot be dealt with. Before God, we get convinced and knowledgeable about how to proceed (meanwhile God is helping us most tremendously and we see progress, whatever the particular progress is that we searching for. Every situation is different.)).
- pray with them at meal times.
- teach them God's word and it will be their guide in life. They will know what is right.Deuteronomy 6:6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
Deuteronomy 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 6:8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
Deuteronomy 6:9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
- Rear them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, according to his word. Seek his face and he will apprise you of the invisible and visible and he will help you
- Remember the rescuing hug
- identify useful and important projects--train your boys to be men in manly things
- everybody can work independently and together--we can all have our own personal projects and interests and we can also participate in things together
- support and encourage them in their activities, whether sport, music, etc.
- listen to them and what is on their mind
- make time for them
- let them explore
- let them make mistakes
- let home be a haven, a protected nurturing environment as they stretch their wings and find their place
- empathize, put yourself in their shoes
- do unto them as you would have someone to do unto you as a child, we all want understanding, attempt to understand
- rear them delicately
- be a friendly guide to help them grow up
- try to keep your home inviolate from negative intrusions (evil men and seducers are waxing worse and worse. From our website logs, I know that there are evil men and seducers regularly looking for children that have been harmed), may we all pay attention in life and know what is going on around us.
- In a general sense, love, benevolence, good will.
- That disposition of heart which inclines men to think favorably of their fellow men, and to do them good.
- Love, kindness, affection, tenderness, springing from natural relations.
- Liberality in judging of men and their actions
- A disposition which inclines men to think and judge favorably, and to put the best construction on words and actions which the case will admit. (based on Webster's 1828, "Charity")
1 Corinthians 13
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Love is excited by pleasing qualities of any kind, as by kindness, benevolence, charity. A strong attachment can spring from good will and esteem, and the pleasure derived from the company, civilities, kindnesses and good will of others. (Based on Webster's 1828 Dictionary entry for "love").
As we try to help and care, a pleasant and loving environment is created. When we understand what we are trying to do, even when things do not go just right, we can bounce back and stay in loving ways always ready for reconciliation. May it be that we so accustom ourselves to loving ways that nobody wants fellowship broken. Although natural parentage seems to have be bred out of many of us (we went to school and know little (we are dependent on books)), we can still seek out loving ways and family ways and Christian ways.Proverbs 29:21 He that delicately bringeth up his servant from a child shall have him become his son at the length.
DELICATELY, a. tenderly, with nice regard to propriety and the feelings of others. (Webster's 1828 Dictionary)